Forgiveness
by Ummahmaher
Summary: A little bit of Emily and Sam to accompany. Living forever and love will have you do silly things.


A/N: This one shot is for you Aiyanna Clearwater

I havnt updated 'born to be Alpha' because I was working on this

I have said it before but I just find it a little harder to write Emily but here goes.

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Emily's POV

I sat on the lid of the toilet waiting, Sam outside the bathroom door. The box says 3 minuets but each one of these tests that I take I swear those 3 minutes feel longer and longer each time.

We had been trying for years now, still no baby. I should have been able to give him a baby by now, we have been married 3 years. Kim and Jared weren't having any luck either.

We had been told that the reason for imprinting was to carry on the wolf gene. It was supposed to be the explanation for Sam not imprinting on Leah.

The same thought that had been haunting me for the last year surfaced it's ugly head again. What if I couldn't? What if I was as barren as Leah? Would I eventually end up just as bitter?

She was so bitter that she had stolen Jake away from his imprint. She had left her mother and brother alone and disappeared. Sam had spent months searching for the both of them.

Jake's misplaced loyalties to the Cullen's had left Seth confused when him and Leah had left him behind, not even a second thought for him.

Three minutes was up, I picked up the stick. Another single blue line, the tears began to flow mercilessly. Sam pushed his way into the bathroom and held me tight.

His embrace just didn't cut it anymore. We had grown apart, his anger at Jacob for doing what he couldn't ate at him on a daily basis. My lack of fertility broke me down everyday.

Why would he have wanted to be able to break the imprint? Wasn't I his everything? He just didn't seem all that upset that I couldn't give him a baby. Didn't he want us to be a family?

Enough was enough, Sam came home late one evening. Tired from patrol, barely replying to me when I spoke. I handed him the divorce papers I signed whilst waiting for him, picked up my handbag and walked out to the waiting car.

I can't say he didn't try to get me to come home because he did, it was just so half hearted. I heard all the gossip, people saying it was funny I could bare to be apart from him now but when he was with Leah I couldn't help myself.

That's not how it was, imprint or not this was something we couldn't work past. No matter how hard we tried nothing would fix my need for a child. My heart ached daily for him.

When Leah returned to the Rez I was long gone, but the news of her stomach being swollen with Jacobs twins reached me anyway. I wept in my sisters arms, my heart completely broken. I wasn't as barren as Leah because Leah wasn't barren.

I had given up my life in the Makkah, I had been tied to that Rez with Sam for nothing. I wasted so many years of my life, I had the potential to do so much.

As always Leah had to do better than me, successful job, kids, loving husband that just so happens to be the chief of her tribe. They were the golden couple me and Sam had meant to be, she was living the life I was meant to have.

Sam's POV

She handed me divorce papers and she walked right out of the door, she didn't even look back. Was the imprint all a figment of my imagination? How could she bare to be apart from me? I couldn't cope without Emily.

Most the pack had stopped phasing it was just me and Quil now and he was done with me. He refused to phase at the same time as me unable to cope with my torment.

I was falling apart, I barely ate anything any more. The house was a mess and I drank far too much alcohol. I started to get sick, we didn't think we could get sick us wolves.

I couldn't phase anymore, I had finally managed to run myself down so far into the ground that I couldn't summon the strength to phase. I called Emily's sisters house everyday trying to speak to her.

She had avoided my calls after the first few drunken ones. Her dismissal of me left me shattered, every time her sister said she couldn't come to the phone glass shattered in the house. There was nothing left of the little cottage Emily had decorated for us.

I destroyed every last piece of furniture, I ripped down the curtains and I smashed every dish possible.

Quil found me, I'm not sure how long I had been passed out but I must have missed his calls. He never came round unless I didn't answer the phone.

He picked me up off the floor and carried me to my bed. I saw the pity in his eyes as he pulled the covers over my shaking body. I would never know how Jacob had done it, upped and left his imprint

My vision started to blur, and my heart rate increased. Was this really the end? I had pictured the end with Emily by my side our children here to say goodbye. Quil patted my arm and told me it was ok to let go now and so I did.

Emily's POV

When the news of Sam's death reached me I crumbled. I had spent so many years apart from him. I had wasted my time being bitter and angry. I killed him.

Sam Uley died of a broken heart, barely a year after I had left him. I may have ached for him every day I was gone but I had killed him with his longing for me.

When I returned to the Rez for his funeral I slipped back to the cottage for one last look. He had destroyed the place, my heart ached painfully in my chest as I took in the destruction. What had I done to him?

I knelt at his grave weeping, long after everyone had left. The warm arms of a wolf carried me back to my sisters car. I remember Mumbling Sam's name. It was Quil's tough voice that replied, he had told me I had no one but myself to blame.

I had avoided Leah and her happy perfect life at the funeral and continued to ignore her attempts to contact me after. She called me consistently once a week on a Tuesday. She never gave up and one day I answered the phone.

We never became friends again, nothing of the sort but she called me every week to check in on me. If I needed anything Leah had someone bring it to me. She never pushed me not once.

It was more than I deserved I guess, after the way I had treated her. I pushed and pushed with her when she was broken and just needed the time to heal. The bitter guilt left a nasty taste in my mouth.

I hadnt met her children or even her grandchildren. She didn't offer, she was far better than I. Never pushed me further than I could handle.

When I was diagnosed with cancer it was Leah that respected my decision not to have the treatment. I just didn't have any fight left in me, I should never have left Sam. He was the other half of me and I walked away because I was a bitter fool.

I can look back on my life and wish a lot of things but there just is no point. I'm going to die a bitter lonely old bitch. No one to hold my hand! No one would want to say goodbye to me.

A waterfall of tears glide down my flustered red cheeks. There's a knock at the front door and I wondered who would be coming to disturb a dying old fool. I got up slowly and walk to the front door, if someone had told me who it was before I opened my door I would have laughed.

There on my front porch stood Leah as tall and beautiful as ever. She didn't look a day older than 40 even though she was the same age as me. In her arms she held the tiniest bundle of pink I had ever seen.

I peaked out behind her, Seth, Jacob, her children and all her grandchildren stood behind her. My eyes filled with tears once again. She told me not to cry then she grumbled about me having them standing out in the cold.

I laughed joyfully, Leah's youngest Aiyanna cooked us all a lovely meal and we sat down as a family. This is what I had missed out on all those years I spent alone in this cabin.

Leah placed the tiny child in my arms, her great grand daughter. Emily Black, my heart swelled with joy. After everything I had done, all the cruel and spiteful things I had said. Even after the years of seclusion, Leah hadn't forgotten me.

Little Leah held my hand, and kissed my forehead lightly. She told me that her mother and grand mother had always spoken so lovingly of her cousin that was like a sister. That the love me and her grand mother shared when we were young inspired her child's name.

I couldn't have asked for any more. Forget the past, forget it all! This moment made my life complete, not even Sam had given me this completeness. Later that night when Jacob had taken the rest of his family home, Leah stayed behind.

We spent some long over due time together, by the end of the week I had been the happiest I ever had been. I had my Leah back.

I lay in my bed, no longer lonely or a bitter old bitch. I lay smiling up at Leah as she held my hand and mopped my brow. It's as if she knew I was close. How she turned up the way she had just in time to make my life complete before I passed.

I wouldn't die with a mouthful of regrets! I would die holding my cousins hand and a heart full of joy. Leah gave me forgiveness after everything I had done to her, it was more than I would ever deserve.

My eyes felt heavy and begun to close, I could feel myself slipping away but I had one more thing to say. I love you Leah were the last word on my lips, I felt her squeeze my hand gently and kiss my forehead. Her sweet vanilla and cocoa scent the last thing I smelt as I drifted off.


End file.
